Faux Books & Covers

In the liminal space between wake and sleep and sleep and wake, my mind likes to natter at me. Bits of conversations between characters in the book I'm writing, a pithy turn of phrase or most often - utter nonsense. The nonsense in particular delights me and I'm always sure to finger-punch it into my iPad (bedside table, safely away from the water glass) before I carry on with sleep. 

I've been collecting these little bits. Sometimes they make it into whatever I'm writing. Other times, like today they become book titles. 

I need some amusement today. So I chose a few of the natterings and wrote synopsis for them. Then I made them covers. Here they are.

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In the Shade of Large Nature 

A paper salesman grows disillusioned with his job and the culture of excess. This inspires a year long journey tracing the roots of the paper products he sold - backwards from sheets to tree. METAPHORS. Stint as a lumberjack results in encounter with redwood activists. Moved by their message, intrigued by their spokeswoman he lives with them for a year amongst the trees. Philosophical memoir. HIPPIE SEX.

"If you like zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance you'll love.."

 

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The Knitting is Tangled

A big city lawyer quits her hectic high pressure career to move to the country and run a yarn farm she's inherited from an eccentric aunt. Cast of quirky characters, inevitable competitive knitting scene naturally set up so that the winner saves the farm or something. SHEEP HERDING LOVE INTEREST. YARN BOMBING, TREE WRAPPING. ETSY!!

 

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Hairku 

Hiro is released from prison on his 70th birthday. The only employment he can get is sweeping up hair in a high end salon. The owner recognizes his talent for pruning bonsai and encourages him to translate those skills to hair. He's soon in high demand in a city enamored with all that is cutting edge. Hiro cuts hair all day but never says a word. His hairstyles are the pure expression of his soul. Stylish fashion reporter Mina Yoshikawa thinks he's her next big story, but does she uncover more about his past than she bargained for? (Obviously) OTHERNESS, CLICHES, PROBLEMATIC TONE DEAF TREATMENT OF ANOTHER CULTURE.

 

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Grout Rot

A Washington DC plumber is brought in to help renovate a bathroom in an historic house. He uncovers a national treasure-esque mystery behind the tiles in a shower. REPORTER LOVE INTEREST. FREEMASONS. (DUH) THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE.